1. Ned throwing up in Sarah's bed. Leaving it there for the weekend then coming back to find Sarah's parents clearing it up.
2. Thinking we're skiing in Switzerland for the day and forgeting his passport, locking Smith in the boot of the hire car and persuading him we're going to smuggle him over the French border. Pretending to talk to the border guards, explaining there are "quatre persons, ne c'est pas cinq persons"
3. Getting naked on the dancefloor in Le Garage nightclub in Chamonix and being told by the bouncer if we do it again, we'll be thrown out. Swiftly followed by Smith pulling a mentally handicapped child's legs away. The kid was doing some "dance press-ups" trying to impress us. He face-plants the dancefloor. Smith immediately realises it was a bad move.
4. Recording my testicles onto the official wedding video at Sally Hastilow's wedding, then three days later, phoning my partner in crime, Simon, pretending that I've had a phone call from the parents complaining that we've recorded right over the moment the bride walks down the isle. Simon proceeds to write an apology letter to the parents.
5. Poking a hose pipe into the tent Ed Orlebar and Barry Brookes are sleeping in and turning on the tap. The two gents wake up and think I'm urinating over them. Ed shouts out to me "get a hold of yourself". Recriminations ensue, including my sleeping bag being filled with dirty shoes.
6. Waking up after a boozy night next to Simon Cunliffe-Lister to find that he's wet the bed. He apologies to Olivia lying next to him and later on sends off his pager, which has stopped working, to Motorola for replacement. They write back stating "water damaged goods cannot be replaced".
7. Being debagged at Dublin airport on the way back from a boozy weekend, with the check in queue getting more than they bargained for due to an onset of Guinness-induced
beerhoea.
8. Having given Gary Brookes the more suitable nickname of "Barry" at university, at graduation registration, Simon pretends to be Barry and comments to an official that he has been known as "Barry" since birth. Please could they update his graduation form to reflect this? On graduation day, as all the engineers are lining up to receive a handshake from Sir Peter Ustinov, the offical reads out "Barry Brookes". All engineers split sides with laughter. Goes down well, until we find out Barry's parents, having recorded the whole graduation for posterity, are furious that it's now been ruined.
To be continued...
